u n s w e e t e n e d

2007-03-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

for those who can see my blog, i've change my add. ((:

http://ali-cious.blogspot.com/

2007-03-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

how come i just got the feeling that i somehow feel better, without you by my side? im not sure is it better, or is it that i dont have to worry bout our friendship when you are not around. mayb staying away might make me feel safer and more secure.

should i make it clear or make things stay the way it is now? :s

2007-03-19T00:28:00.000+08:00

hahas, i guess afterall, i mean nth to you. isnt it? lols.

yea, von's right. different definations, different views, and different thinking.
you dont even care that i might be worried.

2007-03-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

((: back from work. and sad to say, it's the last day of hols today. )):

on fri, went swimming with girlfriends. ((: had tons of fun. swam, crap, joked, and fooled around. girls, we must still get together like that even thou school has started for some, and going to for the others. im sure we can still stay close eh? (((:

than last night caught 300 with colleagues. HAHS, shaojing and i wore almost the same thing! but she's much more, outstanding, uhh, i mean. (x. hahas. uhh, the movie, it's violent i can say, and sure, it has it's reason for being rated M18. lols. supper-ed after that, yea, prata again. lols. hmm, than kang and shyan sent me back to my granny's hse. (: thanks. i wanna work and dun wanna go sch. ): sad.

i stand low/no chance, what do you think?

bestie will be back soon (:

2007-03-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

LM, lols. maybe i shouldnt have went to work today. hahs. ):

UHH, damn it laa. it's just that i dont wanna say or express it out. but there goes my chance, just like that. FUCK can.

2007-03-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

maybe you dont know, that was not what i wanted. ):

im sooooo tired today laa. )): i slept in the train and i almost missed my stop. luckily i woke up just in time. lols.

bridging course again, and went to tonkichi for lunch. HAHS, i was like, totally speechless can. esp when Jingming kept sayin some weird things when we were walkin to the mrt. i was like, O.o, than, -.-ll. hahas.

i just woke up not long ago, and im going back to bed soon again. i need myself re-charged, so that i'll have the energy to have fun with the girls tml. ((: im off. nights.

hahs, i realised that maybe you dont need me at all, and afterall, maybe it was just my habit. perhaps, i was just used to need-ing you. hahs.

i miss him? no.

2007-03-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

AH! why did i fall asleep so early last night? )): sian.

i duno why but i kept yawning today, despite that fact that i went to bad freaking early ytd, which was a stupid stupid thing to do. hahs. and yea, chem is getting more and more complicated, sooner or later it'll definitely go crazy. HAHS. ):

hmm, will it matter to you?

2007-03-14T02:14:00.000+08:00

so far so good, but i think it wont be lasting long. hahhs. just feeling bad.

went for bridging course today. BUT, im so sad. im in a class, ALL BY MYSELF. uh, only im alone. UHH, sadd laa! ))): but than today's lecture was alright, i managed to understand almost everything. yea. ((: something to be happy about.

somehow, im just so so so high at work today! ((((: lols. i think von should know why. cause she's equally high and our reason is bout the same, just that the factor is diff. hahas.

if there's a reason for me to smile at work, it'll definitely be, .... ((:

2007-03-12T14:19:00.000+08:00

): guess bestie's one his way to m'sia now. or mayb he've reached there alr. hahs. somehow i just feel weird, 1week without bestie. ah! unsafe and insecure. hahas.

i wan lots and lots of honey on my hotcakes! SWEETS! ((:

2007-03-12T01:09:00.000+08:00

i tried my best to succumb my temper the past two days. dont tell me you didnt realise it. im not going complains or blah blah laa, im just too tired of those alr. all i want to say is, im disappointed, and, i'll be giving up.

just hope bestie'll enjoy his trip to Genting, and take good care of himself. pray that he'll wont forget me after that one week. it might seem short but you'll never know. and most imptly, MY PRESENT, is he ever forget, i think he can stay there and forget bout coming back. (x hahs, take care wawa. (:

hotcakes rocks!((:

2007-03-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

you always tell me that you'll try, but than, ask yourself, how many times did you say that, and out of that, how many times did you really mean it? i guess it'll never never be the same again.

read some things that i shouldnt have read. i feel pretty bad now. if it's really like wat von said, it's just a habit, how come i can feel my heart prickling when i saw that? i have no idea too. mayb it's just regrets and 'bu fu qi' that those never happened to me before. haas. sounds dumb.

thou it's hols next week, but it aint gonna be much rest for me i guess.

2007-03-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

i was just trying my best to make you feel better. hoping that i can cheer you up somehow. but i think i did the reverse in the end and made you even more troubled. im sorry, i failed as your fren.

2007-03-08T21:21:00.000+08:00

im in Innova JC now. (: 2nd day of sch today. started attending lectures and physics that used to be my better sub, now is like so unfamiliar to me. have to do some work on my A maths, cause things that i've learnt, ive almost forgotten all. i hope i'll be able to catch up real soon. there'll be lots of work to do i supposed.

hahs, it has been quite some time since i really blogged. lols. went sentosa with colleagues on tue, one day before sch started. had fun, hahs. ((: somehow, there's just some things that im damn happy about. ((: hahas.
sometimes when i'm in school, i just wished that how nice if i was not there but workin.

anyway, went kbow with meiping and vonne just now. LOL, the waiters there are, -.-lll. hahs.

UHHH, bestie will be gg to m'sia this sat. ): ONE WEEK LEH! )): and the best part, the one week just happened to be my sch holidays. ))):

2007-03-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

how you ever cared bout how i feel?
im feeling so terrible now, and it's like as if, you'll know.

2007-03-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

sorry i raised my voice. i really dont wish to say anything or even hear his name. i know if i just open my mouth and say sth, i'll start crying like nobody business. all i needed at that time was to be alone.

2007-03-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

2007-03-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

ive been lying to myself all the while. i knew everything but i pretended that i knew nth and be a fool.

2007-03-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes, it just sounds like every word will always be wrong, or if not, not right for you to hear. but everything that the other girls said will just be like fairy sprinkling magic dust over your head and make u grin like an idiot.

im just sick of the feeling of coming the last behind everything. the last person on earth that you'll care for. the last thing on your mind. just the last and last of everything. im so sick, so irritated. couldnt you care more?

do you that accomplishing the things that you've promised me will naturally put everything to an end? is it all that we are worth? or should i say the thing that i treasured the most just turned out to be a deal, in exchange for a date, a damn day?

2007-02-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

feeling terribly down now.

i just wanted you to cheer me up. but than you didnt managed to. yet you made me felt worst. you told me sth that im most afraid to hear. now, face the truth? hahs.

2007-02-28T01:40:00.000+08:00

uhuh, went out with bestie today.27thfeb ((: it was all last minute.

hmm, bestie lied. we planned to watch movie but than he insisted that he'll definitely slp in the theatre so we ended up shopping, lols, but than, it was fun larr. i shall say, bestie's taste is kinda weird, er mayb i shld phrase it in a better manner, it's unique. LOL.

didnt really buy anything larr, but than i think bestie's got a hole in his pocket. HAHS. finally i got my long awaited bear! ((: *biggrins! and i made him do sth that he had nvr did long. HAHS! ((:

dine at tonkichi, met up with jon, and headed down to huat's place to suprise her! lols (: uhh, i think her dog hates me, but he likes cheefun. lols. sad, ):

that's bout all for today, i had lots and lots of fun. ((: THANKS BESTIE! YOU MADE MY DAY!

the bear! ((:

i only rmbed to take the pic of the dessert. (x uhh, it's bitter.

bestie givin batman a massage. LOL. (x

2007-02-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

uhh, bestie called me a bitch, wtf.
uh it's okay, bitch's bestie shld be a bastard. ((:

hmm, i did sth so outta my mind todayy. gaaaaaas, thinkin of it makes me blush. ((((((:

2007-02-22T10:43:00.000+08:00

uhhh, gotta work ltr. im toooo tired to move. )x i've been like sleepin at 3 or 4 for the past few nights. gosh, im dead beat. )x

girlfriends came over for steamboat ytd, and i tell you, huat was so hilarious that i could laugh my head off can. lols, she's like, uhh, duno wat to say larr. lols. than bestie came. that idiot, really brainless larr, he needs me to fetch him in, and yet he called me only at the moment when he reach my house bus stop, idiot. caused me to fall down and hurt my leg. )x stupid wawa, you owe me one.

and than yea, lols, we started gambling, with my mum, -.-ll. uhh, i won abit laa, hahs. and yea, that's bout all for ytd. (:

till than i realised, how much i needed you. <3
i dont wanna fall badly again, so now, i'll just climb a step at a time, instead of two.

2007-02-21T15:37:00.000+08:00

really really, i swear i'm gonna skin bestie alive. serious. that asshole. cheat my feelings! f sia. ))))x

2007-02-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

UH, it's chinese new year. (: wishes to everyone.

still not feeling good these few days, and still wondering why. )x uh huh, met bestie ytd and passed him some goodies before i headed down for reunion dinner. seriously la, i dont see any difference in his hair, when he insisted that he high-lighted red, uh, SORRY. lols.

oh, trust me, that dinner sucked big time alright, just thinking of it pisses me off.

usual routine today, visiting and yeah, boring. went out and had a walk with cousins.BUT, totally no place to walk can? uh, that's wat i dont like bout CNY.

ah, all that thots are coming back again. oh damn.
sometimes if you think bout it carefully, it's just too true.

2007-02-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

FCUK

2007-02-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

LOL, hahas, wat a joke, wtf.

uhh, didnt feel like blogging a proper entry the past few days, totally not in that fcukin mood, thou today aint any better, but i just have the feeling to blog.

uhh, i like working in the morning somehow. (: lols. hmm, went out with my cousins today, and i mean, ALL. hahas, and i got 2 more tees, adding on to my outfitters collections. uh huh. ((: lols.

i was soo high half way thru, but in the end, no more. UHH, i didnt get to see him in the end. uh uh. )x mayb mayb, chu yi or chu er. s:

2007-02-15T04:28:00.000+08:00

although it wasnt much, but that lil move make me feel safer, and that i'm still cared of and still wanted. ((: just that few secs, it made my day. i cant stop grinning when i think of that. <3

2007-02-14T13:47:00.000+08:00

tell me, what do you mean by what you've said? end everything?

2007-02-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

hahs, nth much to blog about today. off. (:
oh damn, lets just pray and hope that by tml morning when i wake up after a night's slp, that Interior Design thing in me will be gone, say goodbye and forever. )x ah, it's hard to decide man.

went granny's hse and asked for my cousin's advise. somehow it calmed me down and cleared my view. after all, interior design might be fun and enjoyable, but it might not suit me.l et me just complete my cousin's initial plan, and let him accomplish mine. ((: hahas.

im gonna submit the JAE form tml. (: nobody decides our future. it's us. i know where i wanna go and i wont regret, ((: yea man.

LOL, tell me, how many tomorrowS are there? endless. i've alr heard so many, 'ps, tml can?' oh, sick.

2007-02-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

(x hmm, work is getting better and better. yea, slowly bahh.
but i've met this baddie. )x

UH, damn la. i still dunno where to go. seriously laa, im so confused. future, or interest? tourism or interior? i need some advice uhhh, damn it. but i know, i'll get it all done by tml, i have to. i dun wanna drag anymore. the more i drag, the more indecisive i'll get.

most prob, it'll be tourism i guess. =x

2007-02-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

i had a dream last night and somehow it made me come to my senses. hahas.

for the start, 2 yrs ago, he treated me so nice, it all started with courtesy. and slowly we grew closer and i grew dependent on him.. we shared a lil secrets and slowly more and more, and till now, almost everything. best friends, this is wat i call us. no bounderies, no manners, no politeness between us anymore. there were fun times and nice long talks. but slowly, i started to realise something, mayb i should call it, one-sided.

i was so into our friendship but in the end, i found out there's something not right. most of the thing's comes after our friendship to me, but to him, it was just, ya, a total opposite.somehow down the road, i've realised it and i tot i was just thinking too much again. i lied to myself, ever since than, again and again.

but the thing is he just give in to me sosssss much and it's like i just grew more and more dependent on him. and now, almost cant even get off him. and that, make me sound so desperate in our friendship. to me, i'll just feel so uneasy if i dont get to talk to him for one day, but who knows mayb to him, 1week wont make much difference. i dunno how to say, but this is just hurting me deeply.

i dont wan our friendship to come to an end, but than, wat used to bring joy, now became a drag. smiles were replaced be tears due to all the unecessary arguments. everytime, the more i try to bring us together, the further apart we go. maybe i shall call for halt. stop here for the time being. tried of making him and myself upset.

i should start to loosen my grip, but i know, there's a point where i'll grab it tight again,losing all the unhappiness and tears, and bringing with all the smiles and laughters again. (((:

kept me waiting and waiting but never did he come. should i continue to wait? or just stand up and walk away?

2007-02-10T01:34:00.000+08:00

AHHH! :DDDDDDDDDDDD IM SOOOOOOO HAPPY WITH MY RESULTS!

hahs, i'm sure i am. L1R5, 13. L1B4, 10. gees. i didnt disappoint myself, neither did i disappoint anyone else. (: gees, oh well, i just cant stop crying like wat my mum said. lols, i cried when i got my results cause i cant believe it. hahas, sounds dumb. lols.

uhh, THANKS DANIEL! I GOT AN A2 FOR AMATHS! ALL THE CREDIT GOES TO YOU! hmm, and also our beloved mr owyong laa. ((: lols.

hm, i shall skip the working part today. dont feel like blogging bout it.

pardon me, im just over the moon. ((:

2007-02-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

(((((((((((((: IM SOOO RELIEVED. GEES.

went spa and arcade with aisyah today. wooo, the massage was really nice and relaxing. (: gees, and arcade was fun laa. hahas. i wanna go again, again! ((:

oh damn, less than one day to getting the reusults. ahhh, there's like so many so many butterflies fluttering in my tummy now. cant even sit still. how to sleep well tonight? argh, someone pls calm me down.. )x

uh, it has been so long since i last talked to pong. ((: nth much diff from the past. nice nice. miss him sooo much. ((:

2007-02-08T21:47:00.000+08:00

i'm truly, deeply sorry. can you forgive me pls?
i know im wrong but dont ignore me pls. ):

2007-02-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

(: its so nice talking to him. i've thought that i can talk lidat with him. not comfort, but the jokes keep me going, keep me entertained. it'll just let me put all my troubles aside for the time being. ah, i feel so relaxed. (:

finally, i managed to get myself a pair of heels today. ((: im so delighted, duno why also. hahs.

hmm, the day is drawing nearer and nearer. just thinking of it makes my heart beat so fast that it felt as if it'll stop. friday, the results will be out. i have no idea whether is it that im lack of confidence or wat. im just scare. ah, duno wat laa. nothing can calm me down when i start thinking of it. damn laa. ))))x

smile like you mean it. no use faking a smile and act as the best man on earth. cause in the end, you yourself knows very clearly that you are not. one day, someone, somthing will expose your true colours.

2007-02-07T00:32:00.000+08:00

i've no idea why guys will nvr keep their promises. every single one of them. hahs, mayb they are just borned with a mentality that girls are for them to tell lies to, isnt it? hahas.

i swear, i'll nvr believe wat a guy said again. no promises, never.

2007-02-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

hahs, didnt blog ytd cus i was f-ing pissed. no one ever did that to me, and it f-ing hell pissed me off my ass.

at first i thot a lil swing will swing all my troubles and anger off. who know it all became worst. HAHS, wat a joke. nobody know's how freaking bad ytd was. nothing went right, and everything goes wrong. wasted my effort, my trip. i could have stayed at home and sleep my way thru, seriously, it could help more.
it felt worst, when you are feeling so bad and none of them came to comfort you. and the one who's wrong, didnt even bothered to apologised.
hahs. it was much better today. ((: home sweet home. and its really mice to have someone who brighten up your day. *sweets. thnks! ((((:

2007-02-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

you make me so bloody hell worried and in the end you didnt reply me cause you were playing. hahas, i made myself a fool again. cant believe im so damn stupid, worrying that you might be still sick and yet having to work overtime. hahs, stupid, idiotic me.

whole day of shopping today. something different, i went with my family today.(: got a pair of jeans and a top. than, a pair of shoes(a tough task) and some accessories and im done with my new year shopping! (: hahs. hmm, im gonna get myself lots and lots of earrings. yea yea. ((x

visited granny also, considering that i've not visited her for a long time ever since i started working which was alr 2 months. she's still the same, with that smile on her face, just that her body is getting weaker and weaker. ):

it seems like we are so near, but yet its so hard for us to get together. ):

2007-02-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really feel bad bout treating him that way, saying all those things to upset him. but than, somehow i just cant stop doing it. im trying hard not to, and i hope i can.

so here, if you are reading this, im saying a sorry in advance for watever nonsense i'll say in the future, which i hope i wont come up with any.

shopped around for the past few days.. hahs, spent quite alot ehh. went vivo with drey and col today(3rd feb), and yup. some tops caught my attention, but i only brought one home. ): lols, nvm, more shopping tml.((: since i'll be sooo free, till fri i guess? LOL. but i think results will be out, real soon. till than, let me just pray and enjoy at the same time, god bless.(:

oh ya oh ya, there's this shop at vivo, its really damn damn cute can. i'll definitely get something from there when i ge my next pay. i dont care if its costly, i've got to pamper myself ehh. ((:

2007-01-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

(((((: ah! one more day. and YEAHH!
but somehow i miss fiza and yani, scotts and paragon Blush!. )x

so unhappy working this few days. )x no joy no fun. and i fuckng hell hate stock-taking. it almost got me killed larr. )x worked in OUB ctr. HAHS, i tell you, office ppl are bloody freakin fussy. its like they think that they spend a lil more and they are like so, GREAT. oh fuck, sometimes i just feel like throwing back their stinking money at them, and not make any sales.

hmm hmm, mayb i shall date aisyah go spa on fri. since i'll be so free. (:

AH! im so bloody hell irritated la. mayb wat others said was right. our friendships are just weird. weak, vulnerable, and it cant withstand any blow. i have no idea why we ended up together in the 1st place. we are all so different.

tell me, is it that you want it to be over? dont waste my time anymore.afterall, i'll have to wash my hands off you one day.. why not do it fast?

2007-01-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

i dont think i mean anything to you, anymore.

2007-01-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

it all seems so real, so true.
that msg, how sweet. wat a chance to tell you everything.
but after all, the alarm clock rang, and i realised that it was a dream.
it really seems so, real.

2007-01-29T01:52:00.000+08:00

you attitude irritates me the most.

2007-01-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

hahs, just like wat we've expected. DAMN. )x
nahh, but its okay, aisyah and i get to go for free spa and massage. (: HAHS, nice.

worked at CK tangs the past few days. some ppl screwed my day, but on the other hand, some ppl brightened it. (: auntie rena bought me banana pie and others treated me chocs and candies. and they comfort, seriously i felt much better. (: ah, conclusion, judith is a fcukin bitch.

also not forgettin, EYECANDY TALKED TO ME! ((((: oh my, nth is sweeter than him. CUTIE! (x

today might be my last chance working with Yani.. pretty sad ehh. )x she's fun and nice. we bitch-ed alot bout our manager today. LOL. xD hahas. i'll nvr forget how much she taught me. from nothing to everything. thanks Yani! (x

sometimes in life, we just have to close one eye. and you'll feel better. life will be easier for both. (:

2007-01-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

all you know is how to piss me off.

2007-01-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

in the process of making.... (((:

taaddaaa~! the MASTER PIECE! (((x

my small lil dedication. hahas. :D

PEIYING! (: your star will always shine on my bedside. LOL. (: MISSYA!

2007-01-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

when someone lost her everything, cant you just be kind enough to at least give her the allowance to fantasize. i dont think there's a need for things to be as clear as crystal. everybody know, everyone can see.

peiying flew off to perth last night.. )x
i'll miss her. its rather sad eh, oh well, i cried as usual. and it was a pity that py cant bring our effort over with her. )x nah, its okay. its the tot that counts right? (:

met up with enoch and got my very very belated xmas present. (: hahas, lunch-ed and went off to meet my cousin. shopped, dine and home. well, duno why its just so tiring.. ):

i think i did something real wrong ytd. oh damn it. x(

talked a lil to col last night. i realised im damn wrong.
sometimes i know i can very unreasonable and wilful. wanting you and everyone to please me in every way that pleases me. you can just walk out on me and wash your hands off me and my nonsense but you always did not, you tolerated my crap and i didnt realise my faults.. i always didnt understand you and that leads you to keeping things from me in order to let me not think that much, but i always took it as you lied to me on purpose. you kept quiet when i scolded you so that we dot have to quarrel, but i always think that it was because you didnt care. sorry bestie. ):

2007-01-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

hahs, crap.
all you care is your msn, your friends and msg --.

2007-01-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

one word: childish.

you dont appreciated other's effort. you let it go down the drain.
you pissed me off.

2007-01-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

some things are not that easy to let go, even how hard you've tried, you might still not be able to let it go. cause afterall they must be some things that impact your life greatly, some memories that's engraved in your heart. some one/thing that might have changed you completely, and walk out of your old unwanted-self. not only that, the times you've spent together, the countless secrets that you've shared, long talk over the phone, be sure that you'll be there for each other when one needs a shoulder to cry on.. the love, trust and care, so many, so much things that we've been thru together. i wont be like, *snap* and everything will be forgotten. mayb it wont be as hard as to forget a relationship, but im sure it aint no easier. just like out of a sudden, you've lost a pillar of strength, a soul to confide to, a shoulder to cry on. practically everything that you need the most at that point of time. even if it'll be forgotten after long, but deep down, you'll know, you cant find something/one as good as the one that you've lost. cause the best memories will nvr be replaced. something that'll be engraved in your heart forever.

forgetting, sounds easy. but it aint easy at all.

2007-01-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

i'll understand, i'll try to. (:

2007-01-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

~~smiles and laughter.~~ no more.
tears and heartache. welcome.

2007-01-17T23:39:00.000+08:00

fuck you. im damn pissed. this time you really piss me off. can you fucking hell tell me wat on earth is happening? i dont understand your attitude, your words and your everything anymore.

you have nvr fufilled all you promises. you've nvr done wat you said you'll do. i'll nvr believe you again. i'll forget everything for now. you owe me nothing, no more promises.

2007-01-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

AH! EYECANDY TALKED TO AISYAH! AHHH! ): lols. nvmmm. i've got new one. (: xsquare.

i almost fell off a HIGH chair today. lols. lucky i balanced. otherwise, hahas. i duno wat will happen.

you taught me how to smile, yet you left me alone to cry.
the happiest day in my life, now its gone forever.
did it end? im not sure either. can you answer?
i'm not thinking too much, but i think you're avoiding.

oh sad to say, mayb i have no more bestie.

2007-01-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes, its to best to not care too much. cause you'll nvr know, those ppl might not even care whether you care anot. hahs. best to treat it as you are blind. better still, deaf and blind.

uh huh. (: i love working with fiza, but for the next few weeks, i wont be seeing her. ): im so sad. no one for me to call a little girl anymore.): BLAH. hope that lil girl get me some goodies from thai.(:

some things, you think that you understand so much, but in fact you knew nothing at all. mayb you say that you know it, but knowing without understanding is just bullshit-ing after all. some things you'll nvr until it really happens to you.. big words, rhyming phrases make you some nice when you try to explain how some one feels. but when its time to explain to others how you feel, you cant even speak a single word, you might think its not true, but wait till it happens on you. you'll cry.

finally, solved. (:

2007-01-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

i guess even you've given up. beginning to let go.
gimme a few days, i'll fake that smile. i know i can.
i wont let it slip away, neither will i let you give it up.
just a few days will do, and you'll see that big grin again.

2007-01-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

all i can say is that i have nothing now.

no fun, no joy, no smiles, no laughter.
no one to talk to when im down.
i duno who to tell.

where'd they go? i have no idea.
my close frens? non.
bestie? gone.

2007-01-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

say its all my fault. i dont care anymore. (:

say goodbye. (: no more hellos.

2007-01-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

went out with girlfriends today. walked, eat and chat.(:
more or less the same. i guess some whisperings cant be spared.(:
thanks py for the lovely star, and huat for that cute windmill. love it! (x

i have no idea what makes her think that way. maybe in this friendship it just lacked something, faith and trust. i swear that i trusted her and once made her my best friend, but it was the lack of faith that our friendship ended this way. never was it a substitute, never was it making use. we have never suceeded in sorting things out, but i duno why. it just seems like we are loggerheads? hahs. i duno whether she'll believe wat im writing but its all the truth.

P/S. if you are reading this, im telling you that you are one of my best friend that i cant lose, and also one that i'll always choose to confide to. (: trust me one more time, my friend.

maybe im just too paranoid the past few days? hahs, friends dont have to communicate everyday to keep their friendship going eh? lols. i duno wat im talkin about also, just that, i hope it'll remain this way..

2007-01-11T00:34:00.000+08:00

like i knew anything.

2007-01-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

UNFAIR! ): eyecandy talked to aisyah. UNFAIR! ): lols.

long long long journey to TM todayy.. ): hahs, but i finally figured out how to go TP with one straight bus! (: clever girl. hmm. but than, i was late. for the first time. hahas. nth fun at work. im damn jealous! ah!

hahas, i just realised that i can get 15-20% off at B.U.M(: staff discount. lols. but must get the full-timers to help. not bad not bad. next time i know who to go shopping with alr. hahas

oh ya, DEWI MSGED ME TODAY! YIPEEEE! (:

off tml. )x

crybaby is soo interestin lols. (:

cry: todae i saw de gal again, then kanna dian by her.
me: hahas.(x
cry: 480volts sia.
me: you haven die ar?
cry: haven la, luckily i can take it.
cry: i gt install earth wire in my body.
me: -.-ll

hahas, mayb meeting melvin tml to get my cookies! (: yummy! (:

2007-01-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

i managed ytd. i'll perservere today also.

ah, ah! aisyah and me shares the same eyecandy. (x hahas. but she gets to see him MORE often(almost everyday), but i dont.): nvm, i shall wait, 31st jan. oh my, long way to go..... )x

had a talk with Yani today.. hmm, im thinkin of going Shatec. but than the fees, i doubt my parents can managed laa. a loan? hahs, i duno larrr. mayb i'll still stick to interior design. yupp.

there's nothing more i can say. no point.

what hurts the most, is being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

2007-01-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhh. FCUK. im going crazy alright. so just, leave me alone.

went kbox with vonne today. hahs, didnt get very high, but i got high, by myself! hahas, and i found out that i got a fetish for small and short guys, oh no.=x LOL. ah, cutie cutie. (:

and, FINALLY, huat's back~! lalas. (: hahas.

can this friendship withstand the coldness of this few days? i have no idea. friend, do you have any idea? all i know is im getting tired.

2007-01-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

oh damn. its fcuking hell irritating me can. damn it. bitch and bastard.

for some reasons, im just freakin tired today. and i kept eating and eating the tibits in the store. hahas. (x playedd tamacochi(watever its spelt.) with fiza. hahas. childishh la.
BUTT, i dont like to be called a little girl. ): I'M SIXTEEN ALR! lol.

the more i think, the more fed-up i'll get.

'..... dont need to ALWAYS meet up, ...... dont need to ALWAYS go out together.'

the funny part is, do i even get to meet or go out with you? lols.

P/S. gimme a call if you wanna end.

2007-01-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

(: ive finally found the courage to msg HIM! hahs. (x

went back to school early in the mornin. we thot we just need to HELP OUT. but end up, DOING EVERYTHING. ooooh damn. all i can say is, great disappointment. and of cause, fucking hell pissed. of cause not bcus of my guides, but due to some ppl yaya ppl, who thinks they are very big fuck. oh sucks, damn you.

i dont know what's up with adult's mind. they only think of their own benefits and dont care bout other's feelings. someone almost screwed up our friendship. ass.

you always dont mean what you say. right? mayb i shall call it a white lie, but its always fucking hurting. cause your actions always dont tally with your words. it brings disappointment, after disappointment. and its tiring. lies, confusion, disappointment..... it has been like that for quite sometime. i duno whether isit that we are too close, that sometimes we think that its not necessary to explain or bother too much, and the other party still understands. but than sometimes, it really makes me so afraid. it seems like, we are strangers. and we duno anything about each other but in fact, we knew each other, almost thoroughly. it really freaks me out. i duno how to explain but maybe this is just part and parcel of friendships.

2007-01-04T01:57:00.000+08:00

so, that was how you looked at me. now i know. im useless. better off dead.

2007-01-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

have you even cared bout how i feel? no. every since school ended. hahas.

damn. i guess i've wasted my off day. im supposed to off today. but i changed it to tml. i doubt i'll have anything to do tml. hahas, have fun eh ali. (: oh fuck.

i told you its the same. and it'll still be the same. wats the use of trying and trying when no one even gave a fuckin damn? hahas.

hahs, you raised your voice at me cause of her. nice ar boy.

2007-01-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

(: let it be over.

due to some reasons, i wont be quittin that soon ): im sooooo disappointed. ): blah.
and, damn it! seems like everybody's off tml. shit. ): aisyah, auntie jockey, mama ros. oh damn. even wawa. no one acc me go home. argh!

trust me, it'll never be the same again. tml, lets try. it'll still be the same reason, same ans. will you even bother? i doubt.

2007-01-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

i dont think you want me anymore. do you?

2007-01-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEARR! (: goodbye 2006 ):

what more can i expect? hahas.

went dinner 2 days ago. hahas, than i found out that actually my cousin started collecting caps after that incident. lols. (: its soooo interesting. hahas. i LOVEE his collection!

hmm, went out with my cousins last night. (: hahas. shopping and visited wawa at work. LOL, his taste is really really detoriating larrr. lols. my cousin say he's cute. but, BULLSHIT. hahas.(x

than, COUNTDOWNN! hahs. okay la. not that exciting la. my cousin brought me to a pub drank a lil, na dplayed cards.. its so, -.-. hahas. but than, but than, it was a fruitful trip. my cousin's fren is so blardy cute can. my new fren?, Junheng. (: hahas.

hahas, soooon, i'll be getting another job. wish me good luck ppl! (:

we are only workin and the distance is alr like, miles away. i cant imagine if we go to poly. hahas. shall drop it i guess. (:

2006-12-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

i waited for your msg. but you didnt. i msged you instead, you didnt reply. you didnt act the way you promised me that you will.

i swear i'll quit. i hate my manager. fuckin bitch.
but, i'll miss tha ck tang staff. a lil. )x

hmm. i had enough. damn damn damn. im pissed.

2006-12-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

we passed eached other. you gave me a cold stare. tellin me, i dont know you anymore.

(: oh finally, ONE MORE DAY TO GO, AND I"LL GET MY OFF DAY. (: imagine workin 9 days straight, 10hr/day. standing, doing stocktakes. WTHHH. hahas. just now my manager called, telling me that CK Tang will be havin a sale tml. till midnight.

manager: can you stay abit longer?
me:(without any hesitation) NO!

hahs. i dont care. since im not interested in this job anymore. but i'll leave only after i've got wat i want. (: hahas. I WONT ADMIT DEFEAT! (x lalalas.

hmm, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

2006-12-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

cute, really. i swear he is.

hahs, i shall think of a way to get the thing i want. if there's a will, there's a way. (: hahs. im sure i'll get it. even thou wawa dont wanna give me! ): i need to find things to entertain me while workin at ck tang. i've found. but i've gotta find a way to get it. :s hmmmmm.....

oh some on, im sick of this game lar. really tired.
all that you guys care now is you and your workin mates. wats more? hahs. just, watever la. i dont wanna let myself upset. not again.

(: im gonna quit soon. i guess. hahhs.

2006-12-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

it's really tiring to get sad.

hahs. met a cute guy at work. he's cute, really. but too bad, he's gay. LOL. sadd. )x

hahas, crybaby's gonna set up a bra business in the future. he only have one aim, : TO SAVE ALL WOMEN. wth. how lame. hahhahs. but cute la. i'll be the sharholder! HAHA. just kiddin. im sick of bras.

ck tang, ck tang, ck tang...... all the way. )x

2006-12-25T01:35:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. (:
back from vonne's hse. lols. we cooked, we ate and we fooled. hahs. (: how nice if all was there. thanks jesse, for that sweet lil gift. (: it was pretty. hahs.
but sometimes i just feel so not nice when they talk bout things that i dun understand.

got some christmas treats from ck tang staff. thanks! (:

i caught a glimpse you on christmas eve.(:
thou it was from far and just your back view.
im happy, im contented.
i whispered to myself, 'merry christmas, --..(:'
how i wished you heard it.
cause, i have no courage even to wish you..
i dont wan any christmas presents. im willing to use them all, in exchange for, you one 'merry christmas'.

2006-12-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

oh well , im fucking irritated. damn it la.
my everything, if you have the guts, TAKE IT! I DARE YOU.

i dont feel like working anymore. bras and underwears freak me out. oh damn. smiling, saying 'thank you's, and blah blah blah. oh sick. come on, im not a 'polite person' can. argh. the only thing that's holdin me back is, money. ):

there's a difference between, best and bestIE. isit? thats bestIE's logic. wth. CHILDISH, lucky wa wa. (x all the best for your 1st day of work tml. hahs

crybaby is super-duper handsome. crushed again. he made me go head over heels. oh damn. nono.)x not again.

2006-12-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

i dont know what more can i say.
i dont know what more can i ask for.
i just feel so, insecure.

2006-12-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

gathering at Mrs Chin's hse today. met up with those whom i haven seen for ages.

oh well, it was raining cats and dogs. lols, we were stuck at sengkang mrt. lols. we RENTED some umbrellas. hahs. jon and me shared one. ok fine, he was complaining all the way that i cant walk properly. but it was fun walkin in the heavy rain. (x lols.

lols. fun, joy and laughter. (: more gatherings, PLS. hahs.

2006-12-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

soon, i'm out. she'll be in.

2006-12-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

hahs. i'll nvr believe you guys again. nvr.

hahas. 'what dont worry, wont der'. all bullshit. hahas.

bullshit. you guys dont even care bout how i feel. fuck.

2006-12-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

2006-12-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

(: LOL, cheefun is stupid. wat for i care bout wat he do sia. he wan go he go lar. not my problem anymore. hahas. stupid boy. (x

2006-12-11T23:47:00.000+08:00

i duno wat the hell is going on. its just so, fucked up.

watever. i cant be bothered. its okay if i lose everything.

2006-12-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

now, nothing can make me feel good. smiles will never be true. till the storm is over.

workin is gettin more and more fun. i can get along better with everyone.(: i realised, smokers are not bad ppl. it aint that bad to smoke.(:
according to Fiza,: it relieves stress. LOL.

you can nvr imagine how OPEN ppl workin in the lingerie talks. trust me, its HORRIBLE LANGUAGE. goodness.i might be like them one day, lets see. (:

supper-ed at prata house with aishya. (: what's next girl? hahas.

(: dont ever expect too much from people. you'll never know, maybe they dont bother at all.

2006-12-08T11:58:00.000+08:00

on wed night, huat left for NL. 1 whole month without her, HAHS, i think some disaster's gonna happen. oh well, i did shed a few drop of tears that night, but dont worry, its just tears of joy.(: the trip to Changi was looooonnngggg lar. and the blardy fools refuse to entertain me.): daddy sent the fools and von home after that. it was a bloody long day. tiring.):

howen went to taiwan ytd morning, hafta work and didnt get to send him. ): take good care of yourself dude. (: will miss you!

(: hahs, for those who dunno, i've got a job at blush! lols. after 4 long days, finally, my day off today. (: but i guess im gonna rot at home since, ... hahas, ITS OKAY. i shall visit my dear cousin later and see how's his hair growing. lols.

im lucky to work at a place where ppl seldom go.(i hate ppl to see me at work.)
to have a nice and cute supervisor.(:
and the best of all, sometimes, i'll get to work with Aishya. time passes very fast when i work with her. (:
one day, we are gonna take a day off one the same day. and the night before, we'll go play pool and watch midnight movie.YEAH MAN!((x

the pact, the promise and the seceret code. ((:

2006-12-06T08:29:00.000+08:00

is it gonna happen again? i duno. i dont wanna think that way but i've got no faith in them. it just seems like, yeah, no matter isit twos or threes, as, mayb its fated that odd no. cant make into pairs eh?

7 / 2= 3R1
7 / 3=2R1

HAHS.

2006-12-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

damn. blardy hell.

thats wat friends are for, right? HAHS.

2006-11-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

bestie finally told me the truth. i shall not lie to myself anymore. dislike leads to hate. i shall stop everything before he starts to hate.

thanks bestie, i really felt better after i've cried. but, the next day morning(today), i felt the worst ever. everything's rotten. everything's not going my way. everybody's gettin on my nerves. i'll try not to, but im sorry if you become my victim once again, which is most likely gonna be.

i dont know what they've said and i dont want to know. if reali dat's the case, im just disappointed that our friendship cant even withstand their few words.

i dont wanna noe.

2006-11-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN JESSE! :))
although it wasnt much of a suprise, but hope you've enjoyed your day.:))

lunched at Suki Sushi with se7en to celebrate jesse's birthday.. intended to give her a lil suprise but, she's just too smart eh. x( lols. we did some un-sightly things which are better to be kept between us. =x

went to arcade after which.. we seem like some over-grown pri school kids lar. lols.shopped around, camwhore-d and jesse went off for her 2nd round of celebration, py went home.

went to cuppage and play pool with cf, chad and jon. LOL, we had fun somehow lar. ah huat entertained us. LOL, you wont want to know wat she did. x))

im sick and tired of your that, i'll-treat-everybody-good-except-you dat kinda attitude lar. come on, we are all grown-ups, i know somethings cant be forced, but i just dont understand why are you keep acting in this way, tryin all means to avoid me.

2006-11-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
I MEAN, SO WHAT IF I LIKE YOU?
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FORGET YOU?
OR ARE YOU TRYING TO BE MEAN?
OR IS IT THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THE FACT THAT WE RE STILL FRIENDS?
oh damn, mayb we have nvr been friends.

2006-11-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

GRAD NIGHT (2211o6)

deb and i. aint she sweet?;)

gladys:) HUGS.

besties.:))

a smile kills. xS

me and enoch.

my dearest, se7en.:)

unforgettable. e2 girls.:)

4e3 `o6

tution khakis. :)

:))

E3 CHALET (2311o6)

hahs, grad night on wed. took lots of pics, there's too many pics.. =x there are still others, but im too lazy to post it all up =x after that we went to py's hse. bought on drinks on the way.. hmm, god damn it. i was a lil drunk and i got high and i splurt out some idiotic things. (to my dear girls:: whatever that i said that night is purely rubbish. dun take it to heart. ESP YVONNE TAN.) i fell aslp kinda early, and heard that i missed out alot. oh no.=x went for prata the next day mornin.x))

x) ytd was class chalet. i screwed up everythg at 1st lar, im supposed to bring 1packet of MARINATED chicken, but i came out in a rush and i brought with me, only HALF a packet of UN-MARINATED chicken. wth. and the weather was fcukin hot lar. bitch it la.

it was a lil boring intially but when BBQ starts, and dewi got drunk, the entertainment started. LOL. BBQ was kinda a bonding session.. fatty melvin was damn funny. and clem was damn hard workin. he's a SUPER cute and nice guy larr .x)) hahas. and after BBQing, some guys went out and bought some drinks.. got to drink a lil, and dewi duno glups how much and she got SOO high. LOL, if i had a chain, i'll definitely chain her to the bed man. went for a walk aroun 3plus. and sth happened and scared the hell outta us. =x checked out early in the mornin today..

to think that its the last chance for us to gather, tears gushed to the brim of my eyes.. for those's who will be studyin abroad next yr, all the best, and i'll be missing you. :)) the times we shared will be kept in our memories and nv be forgotten.

2006-11-24T13:45:00.000+08:00

shall blog about the chalet ltr. loads loads of fun ;)) time to catch some slp now.

you were my closest friend and yet you said that right in my face. you said you pitied her, but i dont think that was just all wat you meant..you tried to say, i caused her misery?

2006-11-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

im falling sick.
oh like you care.

my leg hurts like hell.
hahs, you dont bother.

I LOST MY PHONE.
oh, better still right?

cant you just understand how it feels? my whole damn mind was flooded with you last night. but, like you even care?

2006-11-21T19:16:00.000+08:00

i totally not in the mood for anything. who the hell cares whether grad night's tml or when. im not in the fcukin mood. damn.

i feel, im gonna lose you. i cant do anything now, but hide under my blanket and cry.

2006-11-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

uh huh, completed our last paper today. oh well, O'LEVELS IS FINALLY OVER. BUT, i still think there's nth to 'hooray' about.

somehow, i just wish that secondary school life goes on and on.. hahs, bestie shld knoe why eh?we are in the same shoes. LOL. x( but, we cant do much either. life still goes on no matter how unwilling you are..

i waited so long for it to be over, but now, i'll rather use whatever that's comin up to exchange back my time in school. but, nah, fat hope, let it be bah, just lets wait and see, who stays and who goes.. who are the ones that are really worth your treasure.. it might be unpredictable, but i just hope the one that goes will not be you.

hanging out with girlfriends ltr. and ad for tml, i swear i'll stay at home and sleep for the whole day. this damn O's sucked up all my energy. lols. grad night on wed, okay, im fully prepared larr, can say so lar uh, just that there's still some problems with my heels.. i hope they wont fail me one that very day. god bless. =x

oh damn, i've been so moody these few days. bestie suffered the consequences. sorry, i didnt mean to throw tantrums at you. but its just that, im outta my mind, alright, again.

you held me thru and we smiled all way.. but somehow, a figure in front blocked my view, and snatch you away.. im left behind, without you. in my memory, you didnt struggle. yu let off my hand and help onto hers.. without even lookin at me again, you were gone forever. i woke up in the nightmare, prayed that it'll nvr come true. boy, tell me it wont.

2006-11-20T00:30:00.000+08:00

oh damnit. dont make me tell you right in your face that i hate you.

2006-11-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

i hate you. sayin things that you dont mean it. get your dirty hands off. you faggot.

2006-11-11T13:55:00.000+08:00

HAHAS. 2 more subjects, 1 more MCQ.
and, IT'LL BE ALL OVERR! WOOHOO~
hm, so far. alrright~ i hope so..

1o11o6:

=))
a big THANK YOU for ALL the birthday wishes. x))

a big big THANKS N A HUG for BESTIE, thnks for ur 'three-time-wishes' and makin my 'wish come true'. *withlotsoflove. (but this doesnt mean the present is spared. xP)

a big big THANKS, a enormous HUG and a KISS for the othe SIX. =)) and not forgettin my mum, and my sis.. THANKS GURLS, i reali had a big suprise, and im damn touchedd. thanks. *love you girls to the core. <3

a lil cake from my sis. THANKS! =))

2006-11-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

''at least a B3.
most prob an A2.
maybe an A1."
=D my motivation.

2006-10-29T11:01:00.000+08:00

if you dont feel like hearin the truth than i shall not tell you again. just wastin my time n my breadth. f off.